Welcome Home; Prodigal.

I have had a hard time figuring out how to start this blog post. On one hand I want to simply jump into a new topic but I believe I owe an explanation as to why I have been gone for so long. I want to first clarify by saying that I did not mean to take a break for such a long time. When I initially took a break, it was only to last for a month. However, a month turned into two and now here I am sitting in my room 5 months later wondering why I ever let go of what was entrusted into my hands. I have also had a hard time figuring out how vulnerable I am willing to get in this post. How exactly do I figure out what is okay to share and what is considered to be “too much.” However, I am at a point in my life where I am willing to speak my truth if it means that it helps someone else.

The main reason why I have been so absent is simply because I fell in my Christian walk. I have had a couple falls in my Christian walk before but somehow this fall was much different. It was not as easy to simply get up and keep moving and honestly at the end of 2019, I started questioning if I could even continue in my Christian walk. It is super ironic because my last post was all about eternity but unknown to me; a month after that post I would start living a life without eternity in mind.

Towards the end of last year, I was involved in a “situationship” with a man who was not a Christian. I knew he was not a Christian when I met him but somehow I thought I could lead him to Christ but he led me in the opposite direction instead. During our time together, I found myself doubting everything about my walk. I questioned if Christianity was the best decision for me. I asked myself why I desired to be pure before marriage and if it was still worth waiting. I slipped back into my old habits quickly and before I knew it, I found myself cursing more freely, drinking more frequently and avoiding the presence of God like a plague. I stopped going to church and I found out that I now hated the fellowship I once loved.

Thankfully, I have amazing friends, mentor and family members who were able to lift me up in prayers. Eventually, the relationship I once cherished ended rather abruptly and I was broken. It felt like I literally forgot everything I knew about God in that season. I forgot how much I am loved by God, I forgot all about grace, I forgot how much I needed community as I chose to stay in isolation, I forgot how to study the Word, how to pray and the list continues. Everytime I tried to get back on track in my Christian walk, It felt like I was stuck in quick sand. BUT GOD WAS STILL CALLING ME BACK TO HIMSELF!

I could literally scream and shout because God is just so good! I cannot believe I ever forgot how good He is and how His grace is always made available. I am so glad that I have a God who is a much bigger savior than I am a sinner. I shared on my instagram page about how I got in a car accident in November. However, most people do not know that the accident was actually meant to kill me but somehow God spared my life! He made it clear to me that I am truly secured in Him. Romans 8:31-39 speaks about how nothing can separate us from the love of God and I have found that to be such a reality in this season.

“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hands.” -John 10:28. We are secured in Christ family! Even hell cannot snatch you from the hands of the One who gave His life for you. I truly understand the grace of God a lot better and I have come to love God a lot more. He is good to me simply because of His character and it is not contingent on my actions. I am in a much better place in my relationship with God now and I cannot wait to continue to share content with you guys more. The Lord has also been teaching me a lot in this season and I plan on digging better into that as well later.

I love you guys and I am praying for every prodigal to come home. I pray that the Lord convicts hearts and brings back the sons and daughters who have strayed away. If you are reading this and you have strayed away, it is not too late to come home. He is still waiting on your arrival.