I graduated from the nation’s first degree granting HBCU yesterday and I can officially called myself a Lincoln University Alumna. It was a rainy day but my classmates and I sat down in the pouring rain together as we waited to receive our degrees. For weeks now, I have been filled with a plethora of emotions because I knew that May 6th was coming and after the hype from May 5th has died down, real life begins. Ofcourse I am extremely excited because this past 4 years has been filled with moments of triumphs and moments of defeats. I am also grateful because God has seen me through a lot and my relationship with Him has improved greatly. An emotion I also experienced was sadness. I loved college so much and I cannot believe it is over. Through this institution, I had a chance to meet new people, to grow, to heal and to thrive.
However, the emotion that surprised me the most was the overwhelming anxiety that came with graduating. I do not deal with anxiety a lot because I am a planner. I have plans A, B and C already in place and I have plan D just in case those 3 fails. Graduating college had me more anxious than I have ever been my whole life because there are so many unknown variables. My original plan was to attend Graduate school while working full time but after thinking about it some more, I did not believe it was a good idea. I prayed about what to do next and I believe the Lord is leading me to law school so I decided to take a year off to work and I will be attending law school in 2020 by His grace. I will also be moving from Maryland to Delaware in August to complete my one year of service before law school. Right now, I am working in a marketing firm in Baltimore Maryland till it is time for me to move in August. For those who have been asking what is next, well there you have it.
I have a fear of failure and mediocrity. Graduating college has intensified that fear even more because I just do not want to be a “bum”. I honestly do not know what life will look like going forward and that is scary. I simply do not want to be included in the statistics of people who have a degree but they hate their jobs and are not enjoying their lives. I want to make sure that I am still striving to walk in purpose even while I am busy “adulting”. Graduating college felt like an end and that brought about a new level of anxiety.
Last week, I knelt down to pray in my dorm room for the last time and the Lord started sharing a couple things with me. One of the main things God allowed me to see if the fact that Commencement actually signifies a beginning and not an end. College was simply a gateway for God to bring me into my purpose. College was my training ground both spiritually and naturally that equipped me to fulfill my assignment. Life is not over after college, it is just beginning. Walking with God is an exciting adventure with unexpected surprises. Life does not simply become boring because I am done with college but it gives me a chance to release the kingdom to various parts of the earth. I have a chance to release the kingdom at my job, at church, in law school and to nations. Another thing God lead me to do was to simply cast my cares on Him. I may not know the future but I do know who is in the future so I can rest. I also had to be reminded that He who began a good work is faithful to complete it and God is nowhere finished with me so I can never be a failure.
In other news, I am extremely excited to begin this life journey. God is the one doing the work and I am just excited to be here for the ride. I know that the journey to adulthood will be filled with some bumps and turns but I am excited for the ride. Also this summer will be filled with studying for the LSAT so keep me in prayers!