A couple of weeks ago, I blanked out for the first time ever during a spoken word ministration. It was embarrassing to say the least especially because I not only blanked out once but I blanked out TWICE. After my embarrassing moment, I stepped outside of the church to go cry. I know some people reading this may think that I was simply being dramatic but in that moment, I truly believed that I looked like a fool. I am choosing to share this with you guys because there were some lessons, God was able to teach me through this experience.
One of the main things God showed me through this experience is that He desires to get the glory both in my weaknesses and in my strength. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ” The power of God is made manifest in our weaknesses which is why we need to not only embrace them but to also expose them. A friend of mine once told me that one of my trademark as a Spoken Word Minister is that I have a memory that supersedes the average human. This is obviously not the case and this embarrassing moment allowed others to see that my memory sucks and will fail me occasionally. However, I am only able to remember a 7-10 minute piece because of God’s grace. The Lord desires to take the glory in every weakness because with Him, no experience is ever wasted. God desires to turn our weak point into our winning point and to use our testimony to encourage someone in the future.
Another thing I was able to see through this experience is that it is not what it looks like. What looks like a defeat may really be a blessing. As humans, we do not always view our situations through the correct lenses which is why we name our situations incorrectly. Additionally, I want to mention that after every mistake, we have a responsibility to pick up our crown. A lot of times, we tend to allow one mistake to become our identity. We give up on our assignment easily after we experience one setback. This was the case in my life. After this happened, I told myself that I was done with spoken word and I was running away from everything God called me to that came with a platform. The platform is such a scary place because your mistakes are very visible. (That sounds like another blog post topic so we will do that another day.) However, in the midst of discouragement, my friend simply told me to pick up my crown. Picking up your crown means dusting yourself off after every fall to prepare for the next race. It means winning the war against every opposition. It means continuing to do spoken word even after an embarrassing event. After picking up my crown, I was able to minister that spoken word piece somewhere else without making any mistake and it blessed numerous individuals!
(BTW: My book “Pick-Up Your Crown” is officially available NOW!)
God also started to show me how He was already proud of me. I did not need to be eloquent in delivering a spoken word piece for God to be proud. He was already proud of me when I decided to be obedient in delivering the message He put on my heart. The world’s definition of success is much different from God’s definition and in His eyes, every ministration is successful when I am led by Him. As long as I remember that I am before an audience of one then I will never have a need to be embarrassed! BTW there will be more spoken word ministrations to come because God is always with me both in weakness and in strength.