Believe it or not, I do not have a lot of friends. Most people assume that I have a plethora of friends simply because I am outspoken and I have an outgoing personality. However, this has proven not to be the case because for some reason my personality is like oil and water with certain people. They just did not mix well together. This post is focused on Godly friendships and just to be real with you guys, I did not use to have friends who were saved. Like I shared in my last blog post, I always felt like I was too shallow for the deep saints and too deep for the lukewarm saints so for this reason I never quite knew what group of people that I will fit in with so I stuck with my unsaved friends. After I continued walking with God for a while, the Lord started to ask me to rearrange my circle. I simply told God that I do not get along with His people and I have also experienced church hurt that made me not want to get close with Christians. I will dedicate a blog post to church hurt and how I am healing from it sometime later but for the sake of not making this post too long, I will focus on my first reason. The Lord response to my first reason was to tell me to look inward. The Lord allowed me to see that there was something in me that was not attracting the right kind of friends. I was comfortable with my unsaved friends because there were some behaviors in my life that I did not want anyone to challenge. Having Godly friends will stretch you. Godly friends are those who will stretch you towards a new standard of holiness, they will stretch you until your broken pieces become whole and they will stretch you until you reach your purpose.
The truth about friendships is that we attract who we are. If you find yourself attracting more friends who are unsaved or who are lukewarm then it may simply be that there is a part of you that is not fully surrendered to God. Psalms 1:1 says “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seats of scoffers.” After I truly surrendered my life to God, I never had a need to get rid of my unsaved friends because there was a natural separation. We just did not desire the same activities anymore, we could not enjoy the same kind of jokes and I refused to compromise as a Christian to please my friends. If you have to compromise on the Word of God to fit in with your friends then it might be time to walk away. I am not saying that you should not have unsaved friends but I am saying that your lifestyle should be one that draws people who are truly living for God. If you do have friends who are not saved yet, make sure you are not compromising on your faith to remain friends with them and keep praying for their salvation.
After the Lord rearranged my old circle, I went through a season of isolation for a while. Honestly, I did not expect to go through a season of isolation because I simply expected that I will form numerous friendships with other Christians. I thought the conversation will be something like this”I love God, you love God so let’s be friends!” However this was not the case. Although I got along with Christians, I did not have a lot that I could call friends. I remember seeking the Lord’s face about this and He simply allowed me to see that not everyone is assigned to my destiny. When an individual is not assigned to your destiny, they become a distraction to your assignment. Even with Godly friendships I had to remember that I could not be friends with everyone because not everyone has the grace to walk with me into my purpose. I will share with you all a passage of scripture that surprised me when I first read it but I believe it explains this idea well. Luke 9: 57-59 says “As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, ‘I will follow you wherever you go.’ Jesus replied, Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head. He said to another man, ‘Follow me.” Here we see that Jesus refused when a man asked to walk with Him only for Him to call someone else to journey with Him. Everyone is not graced to accompany you in fulfilling your assignment. It is important that we allow the Lord to lead us to those who are meant to walk with us. Simply because an individual is willing to be a friend to you does not mean that they are meant to be your friends. Godly friendships are orchestrated by God not by our preferences. God will surround you with people you need although they might not be the people you want.
When
it comes to Godly friendships, be prepared to dig until you find gold. Godly
friendships do not come without warfare so make sure you have the ability to
cover your friends in prayers and the power to fight for your friendships. There
is a common misconception that simply because a person is a Christian means
that they are perfect. Do not give up on your friendships too easily because if
God has placed an individual in your life, it is for a reason. Your Christian
friends are humans which means that they will make mistakes and they may fall.
Be sure to be there to pick them up when they fall and cover their weaknesses.
Ecclesiastes 4:9- 10 says “Two are better than one,because they have a
good return for their labor. If either of them falls down,one can help the
other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” We
are not called to walk through our Christian journey alone. Your friends
are there to pour into you just as you as there to pour into their lives. They
need something you have and you need something that they have. Be a
Gold Digger for your friends and surround yourself with fellow Gold Diggers.
We cannot afford to be connected to the wrong people in our Christian walk because the transference of spirit is real. 1 Samuel 10:10 really demonstrates this principle which says “When they came to Gibeah, behold, a group of prophets met him, and the Spirit of God rushed upon him, and he prophesied among them.” This scripture speaks about Saul when he was anointed by God to be king over Israel. Keep in mind that Saul was not a prophet. The only reason Saul prophesied was because he was connected to prophets. The people we are connected to will determine what we will see manifest in our lives. When we are connected to the right people we will see the favor, grace, mercies, anointing of God that is in their lives also manifested in our lives. However, when we are connected to the wrong people, we will also experience what is manifested in their lives. When I was struggling with alcoholism, it was simply because my friends were also struggling with the same thing. A lot of time we wonder why we are struggling with a certain sin that we may not even particularly enjoy but it may simply be because the people we are connected to are not living a Holy life. The people you are connected to matters because they will not only rub off on you naturally but they will also rub off on you spiritually as well.
Godly friends are those who will rebuke you as the need arises and they are those who would not allow you to give up as you grow into the person God has called you to become. The picture I started this blog post with is one where my friend is calling me out after I came to her struggling about a particular situation. As you guys can see, she is not scared to call rebuke me! Your friends are meant to see your blind spots that you do not have the ability to see. They see the pride that is still lurking in your life, they see the insecurities that you have not dealt with, they see the discontentment that you are still struggling with, they see the depression that is trying to creep into your life and most importantly, they see you. They see the part of you that is not exposed to the public and the Lord uses them to refine you into the person He created you to be. They call out the issues that you thought you could ignore and they make sure your blind spots are protected so the enemy cannot attack you in that area. For anyone who may not have Godly friends yet, I pray that God sends the right people to you. I also want to encourage you with this Proverbs 18:24a which says “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly”. Make sure you are also a good friend first while you pray for God to send you the right people. Let us all keep our Godly friends close as we continue to walk with the Lord.